


I can't like you in a chill way

by yes_indeed



Series: i wanna ruin our friendship [1]
Category: 1776 (1972), 1776 - Edwards/Stone, Hamilton - Miranda, Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Age Regressor Thomas Jefferson, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Thomas Jefferson, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Caregiver John Adams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gay John Adams, Gay Male Character, Gay Thomas Jefferson, Historical, Historical Accuracy, Historical Figures, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Character, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Submission, Panic Attacks, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Soft Thomas Jefferson, Stimming, Stims, except the benefit is age regressor caregiver/little, tics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yes_indeed/pseuds/yes_indeed
Summary: "Gods, don't you understand? I'm in love with you!""This was supposed to be platonic!""I know, okay! I know!"
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, John Adams/ Abigail Adams (past), John Adams/Thomas Jefferson, John Dickinson (1732-1808)/James Wilson (1742-1798), John Hancock/Charles Thomson, Lyman Hall/Edward Rutledge, Martha Wayles Jefferson/Maria Reynolds, Nathan Hale (1755-1776)/Benjamin Tallmadge, Thomas Jefferson & Other(s)
Series: i wanna ruin our friendship [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027426
Kudos: 5





	I can't like you in a chill way

**Author's Note:**

> this is an entirely self indulgent fic.  
> it's me venting about a current situation in which thomas is me and john is someone else  
> definitely cried while writing it

It was supposed to be no strings attached. No romantic feelings involved. Why couldn’t he have simply stuck to the script? If he could get it together, he could save himself from the pai-

“What are you doing, little one?” That voice. _His_ voice was the one that broke him from his train of thought.

“Thomas, hey, come out of it,” John Adams said softly, tilting Thomas’ head towards him.

Thomas pulled his head away from John, huffing and turning away.

“What is with you today?” Thomas still did not answer, he was not in the mood.

It hurt him to look at John, to not have him as his own. He curled into couch and whimpered inaudibly.

“Thomas, come on, talk to me,” John placed a hand on Thomas’ shoulder, causing him to recoil.

“Seriously!” John snapped, “what is with you!”

Thomas twitched, the rising in John’s voice triggering tics. He whined and curled his fingers into fists, knocking them against his head.

“Baby, baby, calm down,” John recognized his mistake, softly pleading with Thomas.

He whimpered louder, unable to stop the fists going against his head. John grabbed Thomas’ wrist, causing the other to panic more, whining and crying.

“Listen to me, baby, okay, listen,” John said softly, “you’re okay, you’re safe. I’m sorry I raised my voice at you.”

Thomas looked at him, eyes wide and brimmed with tears. He wanted to speak; he could not get his voice out. He whimpered again as tears rolled down his cheeks.

John gently pulled the distraught boy into his arms, holding him closely until the panicking stopped.

“If you were in baby space, you should have let me know,” John whispered softly.

Thomas did not make any acknowledgement, hiding his face in John’s chest.

John grabbed the remote and pulled up a children’s movie to play for Thomas.

It only took ten minutes for Thomas to come down from his meltdown and fall asleep in John’s arms.

John sighed softly, “what happened with you today?”

Thomas breathed softly as he slept, tears streaking his freckled cheeks.

“I wish you would tell me what’s going on.”

But Thomas wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He was only lightly asleep, but the nightmare of losing John sat at the forefront of his brain.

There was no way he could tell John he was in love with him. It would ruin everything.

By the time Thomas had awoken, screaming by the nightmares, John was gone.

In his place, was a note:

_Hey Thomas, I’m so sorry for having to leave so suddenly. Congress convened and I had to be there. And Abby needed me. We could meet up sometime next week. Have a good day. From, John._

Thomas burst into tears all over again and he fumbled for his phone.

He dialed Martha’s number, whimpering.

_‘Hello? Thomas?’_

_‘Patty, who is it?_ ’

_“Come-“ he whimpered, “come over. No alone.”_

_‘Yeah? Yeah of course, baby, we’ll be right there.’ ‘_

_CLICK!’_

He whimpered, holding the phone to his chest, and hoping for Martha and Maria to arrive quickly.

With Martha being who she is, always worrying about Thomas, drove there as quickly as she could. Maria unlocked the apartment door, while Martha held the many snacks in her arms.

The two women spent the rest of their day, helping out their poor boy.


End file.
